Want to Change Something? Ask These Questions First [Article]
Who’s Writing Your Book?
Through Tulku Lobsang, I am trained to offer a program called Leading by Living Your Full Potential. It was originally developed for the corporate environment, functioning on the premise that the best leaders are clear in their own minds and hearts and bodies.
As we developed the program, it became clear that it had value far beyond the corporate environment. It is essentially a step-by-step program to create the life you want. After all, we are each leaders of our own life. Whether or not we fully embrace that role, this remains true.
As Tulku Lobsang says, “Our life is an open book. We choose what to write in this book.” So are you going to write a book that you really want to live? Are you going to step into the role of author and leader of your life?
I know, it can feel daunting. There are so many responsibilities and expectations. So many things we’ve invested in. But this can be a step-by-step process, a gradual shift towards increasing clarity and aligned action. The first step, as always, is a question.
Questions Unlock Our Inner Knowing
If we want to change something in our life, we fully have the power to do so. But first we need to ask some good questions. The right question is incredibly powerful. It’s like a mirror that reflects our inner knowing back to us. We have the answers within us. And they can be elicited with a question.
If you want to learn how to ask good questions, start inquiring about the things that are happening in your life. Life is always asking us questions. Any problem that arises is posing a question to us. If we perceive it as such, then it can teach us an important lesson and we grow as a result. With this approach, we can actually be grateful for problems! (And not be so upset when the next one appears ;) So ask those questions. What caused this imbalance? Why did I react so strongly when he said that? Why do I feel a tightness in my chest?
We can also proactively apply the power of the question whenever we want to change something in our life. The questions below will enable us to reverse-engineer the desired change, illuminating the path to our desired end.
As this process of change is sparked, participants of Leading by Living Your Full Potential are given the tools to uplevel their clarity, energy and motivation to follow through with the change.
Four Important Questions
Here are four important questions to ask yourself when you want to create change:
Where am I now?
How did I get here?
Where do I want to go?
How will I get there?
The first question assesses the present situation. Let’s honestly look at what is going on right now. What is the state of things?
Next we look to the past. What have I been doing that has led to this present state? Something has led up to this situation; there were previous causes that set this in motion. What were they?
Next we look to the future. What do I want? Before we walk the path, we need to know where we want to go. Look to the end. What is the desired result? What would success in this situation look like for you? When you are clear on that, move to the next question.
This is the path. These are the steps that need to be taken to bring about the desired result. Often, this will be evident now that you have clarified what caused the situation. Reflection and self-awareness can solve most things, and I firmly believe that we have the answers within. But, depending on the nature of your issue, you may want to seek counsel from someone with skill in this area. Well, then that’s your first step on the path.
In the Leading By Living Your Full Potential program we offer an entire map to inform our path, incorporating wisdom from Buddhist Psychology. Participants also learn body and breathing exercises to develop inner-power, and traditional mindfulness techniques to develop focus and awareness. Because knowing what to change is not enough. We need to have power to follow through with change.
Buddha Asked Great Questions
Actually, these questions parallel the Four Noble Truths. Shakyamuni Buddha woke up because he asked really good questions.
He saw that there is suffering and he asked why. He asked, what causes this suffering? Is it possible to not have suffering? What is the way to eliminate suffering?
There is a present condition, a past cause to the condition, a desired end, and a path to an end. This is Buddhism! Ask questions and then take responsibility to change the situation.
We can use this approach with anything that we want to change in our lives. We could approach smaller changes or we could apply it to our life as a whole. Or to enlightenment, apparently.
Lead Your Life
May this inspire you to reflect on your life and feel empowered to make changes. Be curious. Start asking questions. Everything good or bad that happens in your life presents a question. And when you see something you don't like in your life, know that you can change it. You do it by changing yourself.
We can make excuses and give explanations, but ultimately, the life that we live is our own creation. Create a life you actually want to live. The world will be better for it.
Post Script:
When I was a little girl I was called “Questions.” It wasn’t a compliment. It came about because I was so annoying to watch a movie with, always asking, “Why did he do that?” or, “Why is she going there?”
Well, I am sorry my questions were so annoying then, but they serve me well now! Ha! (Although I did learn to keep my questions to myself when watching a movie with others. Time and place, time and place :)
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